I teach at a country club where there's also a gym. A guest yesterday was doing reverse flies on a machine. I overheard him telling the trainer, “I was told that my upper back muscles are that of a ninety-year-old.” And followed it up with, “Every time I workout, I always hit my upper back muscles.”

Okay, the exercise he was doing wasn’t a bad thing. It addresses postural muscles and back extensors. Great! But I'm looking at his upper back, and it appears fine, so it got me thinking…

1. When this member was told this a while ago, he fully believed it. And he still fully believes this about himself today. This statement has sat with him to the point that he needs to address this every workout.

2. My questions are, “Why did they say that?!? What was the point?” It's a very fearful and shaming thing to say. I see this a lot in the physical therapy community. Practitioners can be harsh with some statements they say to their patients. Then I get these patients as clients, and they tell me some of the things their PTs mentioned about themselves, and I don't see it. So either they've worked through the issue, the muscles are better now, and the posture is excellent. OR they never had muscles like a 90-year-old.

Movement teachers, I bet you've come across this too. What do we do? I could go up to him and say, “Your back looks pretty great,” but I guarantee he wouldn’t believe me. This was something that was his movement truth about himself. And guess what? Nobody has corrected this statement since!

Our words matter. As practitioners, we shouldn’t see people’s bodies like that. No judgment. Maybe somebody's upper back is looking weak, overstretched, or kyphotic. That happens all the time. But why would I label it something so negative, to scare them to try to get them to do their exercises? Shame tactics create guilt and resentment, not compliance.

So if I see him again, I might have a friendly conversation. I will keep you posted!